I'm not a programmer

The title of this post may or may not be true, who knows?

The title of this blog post is actually a thought, in an interrogative form that has been plaguing my mind for some time now. Although working with computers and programming has been the only thing that has truly brought me happiness since my birthing into this world (I’m not kidding.), I often find myself doubting that I truly am a programmer.

I feel unqualified and overrated. It’s funny though since I know I have the knowledge and ability, yet this doubt is constantly at the back of my mind, perhaps this is a phenomena that occurs with most people.

In most cases, this doubt often resurfaces during large projects or contracted work and it really disturbs me, so much so that it adversely affects my productivity. I’ve tried many times to simply disregard it, but it constantly comes back and with a vengeance.

I think – I hope it is something that will go away with time as I grow more comfortable with myself. I’ve always described myself as reclusive to a degree and I think it’s true. I often find myself avoiding painful situations, or disregarding them through humorous ways. Perhaps it is a maturity issue, or I really am unqualified, who can say for sure? I am me, and I have to figure it out.